Dear Jackass

 "Jackasses come in all sizes and genders," she said to me over the phone, as I described my afternoon.

Yes, but sometimes my inner Pollyanna forgets, and I'm caught off guard and left rather pissed. 

That's exactly where I found myself on a lackluster Friday. Cornered by a jackass hell bent on putting me in my place with as many demeaning words as he could muster up. 

Deep breath. After I let the anger go and a deep desire for a comfort sweet, I prayed for grace, even in this, and pondered why do some individuals so easily lean into their inner jackass and just let it fly routinely? 

A horrible childhood? Parents who didn't parent and say knock that shit off early on? Maybe they thrive on dominance? Maybe preconceived opinions or prejudices come into play? Possibly overcompensation for deep-rooted insecurities? 

I settled on fear. 

The surge of power in demeaning someone all leads back to fear.

And fear comes from within.

It motivates people to do the strangest things, often with little forethought. 

Fear also is a notorious liar. 

It can be triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.

So I decided to just be still. Sit in my anger for a minute. Feel my emotions. Acknowledge that jackasses suck. They always will. Let the words and actions roll off, not take it personally, understand that somehow it centers on some fear inside them and just move forward. 

Anger is like a poison, bitterness like a cancer. 

Forgiveness is freeing and healthy boundaries are the bee's knees when it comes to jackasses. 

Mama didn't raise no doormat. She raised a praying, strong, full of light, force to be reckoned with type of chick.

So, dear jackass... Sorry about your insecurities. I will not allow your words to annoy me any longer than they already have. I'm letting it go. God's got it. I'm sure He can help better than I ever could. 

 - Jen