On this Good Friday I'm talking gratitude, hope and humility.
To muddle through is to cope, manage or make do despite lack of expertise. I feel like that right there defines my last year as we've navigated affording insulin and care for our type one diabetic, Coach Man. Given our less than ideal health insurance and the high costs of diabetic care, it's been a lot of muddling through. Doing the best I (we) can. Reading up, educating myself, working our booties off, looking for resources and using my (our) voice. Something interesting occurred to me as we still stand waist deep in the muddling through. Get this... I'm grateful for the journey. Yes, gratitude in the muddling through. Not sure Coach Man would agree with me 100% (well... he is the one that has to stick himself daily with needles), but God's working on him. I can feel it.
(To read more about our family's type one diabetic story click here.)
I can hear you saying it. Really? How can she be grateful for all the crap over the last year?! And oh has there been a ton. Well, let me explain.
To muddle through is to cope, manage or make do despite lack of expertise. I feel like that right there defines my last year as we've navigated affording insulin and care for our type one diabetic, Coach Man. Given our less than ideal health insurance and the high costs of diabetic care, it's been a lot of muddling through. Doing the best I (we) can. Reading up, educating myself, working our booties off, looking for resources and using my (our) voice. Something interesting occurred to me as we still stand waist deep in the muddling through. Get this... I'm grateful for the journey. Yes, gratitude in the muddling through. Not sure Coach Man would agree with me 100% (well... he is the one that has to stick himself daily with needles), but God's working on him. I can feel it.
(To read more about our family's type one diabetic story click here.)
I can hear you saying it. Really? How can she be grateful for all the crap over the last year?! And oh has there been a ton. Well, let me explain.
This past year there have been a lot of punches in the face. Ones we totally didn't see coming, and where we didn't have a plan, but there has also been amazing good that has unfolded due to those wild punches. In a world where we could use to see the good more often, I have clearly have been able to see Christ at work in our situation, in our lives and in the people around us. I'm grateful to be able to see the good, even in the bad.
The first grateful in the journey item - budgeting. We really had to buckle down and figure out how to afford the $700-$1000 a month cost of insulin, plus doctor appointments, supplies and the rest of our living expenses. No easy task, but we did it, and we're stronger as a family for it. Yes, we had to cut things like big vacations and some extracurricular activities for the kiddos, but we'd much rather have a Coach Man than those things, and we have some really great kids, who are just as happy with Michigan shorelines. Oh and in budgeting category, so grateful for GoodRx. It's been our lifesaver to get the insulin cost to what it is, even if it never goes against the deductible by doing that. Gotta have it. It's kind of like air to Coach Man.
Next on the gratitude list - the conversations over the last year and the people we've met. Opening up and letting people meet us in the raw of all of this has been powerful and humbling. Often I think it is easy to want to hide our hot messes to ourselves, but in that, I think they begin to consume us a bit and by keeping it hidden and to ourselves, we miss out on letting others be Christ to us, if only they knew what we were going through. Plus all the amazing people out there just trying to work for change and to make it better. From the people on the phone at Eli Lilly assistance to the people with T1International, an advocacy group for T1D peeps, to Coach Man's doctors, our pharmacist and the techs. We've encountered amazing kindness over the last year.
Plus, something I never really understood how wonderful it could be... a support network. I don't know where I picked it up over the years, but I did. I used to feel that asking for help, prayers or anything was inconveniencing people. I would go way out of my way to never inconvenience. I also am a recovering people pleaser, so I'd inconvenience myself (or my little family) often in order to not inconvenience anyone else. Some toxic crazy, I know. Working on it. Someone said recently you know, that's reversed pride. Hmmm... yep.
So in this journey where we've opened up about our truth and our hot messes, I've gained the most amazing support network. I've been humbled. I've found hope. And I'm grateful for the road traveled.
The people who pray for us - I'm telling ya, I feel your prayers. They fuel me to get up everyday and fight. People who share our story and are just as outraged as I am that this is our life. People who have pitched in to drive our kids around, when I was the only driver in the house because Coach Man's vision was not so great due to the eye bleeds this year. People who brought dinners. People who have come and stayed and watched our kids, so I could have a weekend sister getaway to refresh. People who email or text me any resource they see that might help us.
The people who pray for us - I'm telling ya, I feel your prayers. They fuel me to get up everyday and fight. People who share our story and are just as outraged as I am that this is our life. People who have pitched in to drive our kids around, when I was the only driver in the house because Coach Man's vision was not so great due to the eye bleeds this year. People who brought dinners. People who have come and stayed and watched our kids, so I could have a weekend sister getaway to refresh. People who email or text me any resource they see that might help us.
And then this, this last gratitude item was the one that made me cry. Ugly, utterly touched, ever so grateful cry. It was a blessing completely out of the blue that arrived the very same day I finally decided to openly blog about our family's T1D story. I had been struggling for weeks about not wanting to write about it, but God kept nudging me in all sorts of ways, so I did it. I put it all out there. That same day a local Twitch streamer with a cooking show reached out to me. Find her at MrsRuvi on Twitch. Such a fun show! This week there was even cheese throwing, as her BIG heart did one last push for my beloved Coach Man. I can't put into words how full my heart feels, for what she and her husband Luis did for us! It makes me tear up, peeps.
Actually quite a few people reached out that day. People shared our story on their own feeds and so many gave me encouragement. It was a balm to my heart. Then the extremely good egg Mrs. Ruvi (who saw our story due to one of those shares) sent this question... "Jen, I have a cooking show on Twitch and for Lent I'm giving up my chat donations, and I'd like to give you my donations from Lent on Good Friday. What amount would make you say oh thank God that's exactly it, if it fell in your lap? Be real what would help?"
My mouth fell to the floor like in the cartoons. Never in my wildest dreams did I think something like that would come of me writing our story. Plus I didn't even know what Twitch was...ha! I know, tech challenged. I just wanted people to see insulin is like air to diabetics. They need it to live, and Coach Man is definitely the center of our little family. Life as a T1D today is crazy hard, and it shouldn't have to be. I just wanted to bring light to that. This my friends was a blessing beyond my wildest dreams. At first I didn't want to even give her an amount. Anything is helpful and a blessing, but there are people in far greater need than us.
God's been working on my heart on that a lot of late - there's that feeling of inconveniencing people thing again and trying to do everything on my own thing. In the eye stuff with Coach Man, I've had to depend on people. I've had to let people in and let them help. So friends, I sat on what Mrs. Ruvi asked for a minute and said okay with a grateful heart. The thing that was looming and worried me the most was Coach Man's next eye surgery procedure and the $1500 it was going to cost us. With the monthly insulin costs, I just didn't know where it was going to come from...but God knew.
So here we sit on Good Friday and Mrs. Ruvi's Twitch community has blessed our family beyond words. His April surgery appointment is paid for - in full. The fact that they were willing to support a family they didn't even know... the pure love of that! Peeps, there is good in this world. Amazing good. ...And it can be found in all kinds of places, even on a live streaming platform often associated with gamers. You just have to have eyes to see it.
As I tried to learn what the heck Twitch was early on in my conversations with Mrs. Ruvi, she advised that Twitch communities tend to mirror their creator. Her goal has always been to create a community that is loving and open, that looks to help each other and cares about each other. She strives to be a stable friend to anyone who needs it. One of her role models is St. Teresa of Calcutta and she famously told people to find Calcutta where they are...
Mrs. Ruvi is beautifully doing that right on Twitch. I've watched her live show a few times and I love it! She's right. It's family and friends just hanging out in her kitchen virtually. It's balm to people's hearts. Our world needs that. I need that. She said to me, "you'd be surprised at how many hurting people are out there that just want a friend, someone who cares about them and that's what my stream is... 50 of my closest friends hanging out in my kitchen caring about each other, making jokes and laughing."
I'm so blessed that they've taken us into their fold. I've learned a lot this Lent, peeps. I've learned to let people in, into the hot messes, and I've learned Calcutta is all around us, if you have eyes to see. I've been reminded that there is joy in the journey, no matter the journey, and such beauty in truly doing what Christ told us all to do - love the Lord your God with your whole heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:30-31)
As the Noon hour comes upon us this Good Friday and we all journey those last few steps with Christ to the cross, I ponder how can I do that more... See the Calcutta around me, meet my neighbors where they are, walk with them and love them. "It's the bare minimum we owe each other," says Mrs. Ruvi.
And lastly I've learned there is beautiful grace in humility.
Thank-you to Mrs. Ruvi and all her good eggs for all you've taught me.
Actually quite a few people reached out that day. People shared our story on their own feeds and so many gave me encouragement. It was a balm to my heart. Then the extremely good egg Mrs. Ruvi (who saw our story due to one of those shares) sent this question... "Jen, I have a cooking show on Twitch and for Lent I'm giving up my chat donations, and I'd like to give you my donations from Lent on Good Friday. What amount would make you say oh thank God that's exactly it, if it fell in your lap? Be real what would help?"
My mouth fell to the floor like in the cartoons. Never in my wildest dreams did I think something like that would come of me writing our story. Plus I didn't even know what Twitch was...ha! I know, tech challenged. I just wanted people to see insulin is like air to diabetics. They need it to live, and Coach Man is definitely the center of our little family. Life as a T1D today is crazy hard, and it shouldn't have to be. I just wanted to bring light to that. This my friends was a blessing beyond my wildest dreams. At first I didn't want to even give her an amount. Anything is helpful and a blessing, but there are people in far greater need than us.
God's been working on my heart on that a lot of late - there's that feeling of inconveniencing people thing again and trying to do everything on my own thing. In the eye stuff with Coach Man, I've had to depend on people. I've had to let people in and let them help. So friends, I sat on what Mrs. Ruvi asked for a minute and said okay with a grateful heart. The thing that was looming and worried me the most was Coach Man's next eye surgery procedure and the $1500 it was going to cost us. With the monthly insulin costs, I just didn't know where it was going to come from...but God knew.
So here we sit on Good Friday and Mrs. Ruvi's Twitch community has blessed our family beyond words. His April surgery appointment is paid for - in full. The fact that they were willing to support a family they didn't even know... the pure love of that! Peeps, there is good in this world. Amazing good. ...And it can be found in all kinds of places, even on a live streaming platform often associated with gamers. You just have to have eyes to see it.
As I tried to learn what the heck Twitch was early on in my conversations with Mrs. Ruvi, she advised that Twitch communities tend to mirror their creator. Her goal has always been to create a community that is loving and open, that looks to help each other and cares about each other. She strives to be a stable friend to anyone who needs it. One of her role models is St. Teresa of Calcutta and she famously told people to find Calcutta where they are...
Stay where you are. Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering, and the lonely, right where you are — in your own homes and in your own families, in homes and in your workplaces and in your schools. You can find Calcutta all over the world, if you have eyes to see. - St. Teresa of Calcutta
Mrs. Ruvi is beautifully doing that right on Twitch. I've watched her live show a few times and I love it! She's right. It's family and friends just hanging out in her kitchen virtually. It's balm to people's hearts. Our world needs that. I need that. She said to me, "you'd be surprised at how many hurting people are out there that just want a friend, someone who cares about them and that's what my stream is... 50 of my closest friends hanging out in my kitchen caring about each other, making jokes and laughing."
I'm so blessed that they've taken us into their fold. I've learned a lot this Lent, peeps. I've learned to let people in, into the hot messes, and I've learned Calcutta is all around us, if you have eyes to see. I've been reminded that there is joy in the journey, no matter the journey, and such beauty in truly doing what Christ told us all to do - love the Lord your God with your whole heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:30-31)
As the Noon hour comes upon us this Good Friday and we all journey those last few steps with Christ to the cross, I ponder how can I do that more... See the Calcutta around me, meet my neighbors where they are, walk with them and love them. "It's the bare minimum we owe each other," says Mrs. Ruvi.
And lastly I've learned there is beautiful grace in humility.
Thank-you to Mrs. Ruvi and all her good eggs for all you've taught me.
- Jen
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