Do you ever step back to think about the facade that you present to the world? How the outward layer of yourself day in and day out comes off to others. Are you an open book or more of a carefully crafted masquerade?
This world we live in is very good at nurturing facades. The facade of wealth. The facade of power. The facade of success. The facade of perfection. The facade of happiness. The facade of a heroism. The facade of a flawless marriage and perfect kids. And oh so many more facades. It's easy to put on these various pretenses, but when the facade cracks and the real oozes out, what then?
A facade built of smoke and mirrors is exhausting to keep up and will eventually crack. Do you frantically spackle like Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep in Death Becomes Her or finally let your stuffing hang out like The Velveteen Rabbit?
Why are so many of us so afraid of taking off the masks? Of living in the real? Why do we want to hide our true self?
I think the easy answer is to protect ourselves and for the fear being judged (or possibly one's own struggle over jealously, sadness, addiction or mental health can lead to facades as well), but I also think it goes much deeper than that.
For years I've tried so hard to hide my hot messes. As far back as junior high, I had a carefully crafted illusion of self to present to the world, and there have been times in my adult life as well.
Back in those junior high years, I didn't want people to know my real family life. I didn't want them to see the dysfunction. The poor kid. I was afraid of not measuring up to what I had in my head that I must be. I wanted all to see perfection. There also have been times in my adult life that I've faked happiness and perfection, so I appeared all put together for the outside world, because I was so afraid of letting people into the real. Oh, what would they think if they knew the real?!
So the deeper part, peeps, I think is the fear part... all out panic of being judged, of not measuring up. And as I talked in a previous Faith Friday blog - fear is a liar (it always has been) and it's the number one a tool of the evil one. Letting the fear win leads to next stages too, self-loathing and negative self-talk. It's a toxic circle.
Over the years, I've come to realize that I have to find peace within myself to let go of the facade and chase real. And the path to that inner peace begins in His grace and with letting God into the depths of my heart, into the hot messes, into the fear and letting my real ooze out. He knows what's inside the carefully crafted facade even without me saying a word. Somehow being real first with Him gives me the strength to go out into the world real too.
...because once you are real, you can't be ugly, except to people that don't understand. Once you're real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always. - Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
I want it to last for always. I don't want to go back to fake.
We're all beautifully made and there is a gift in being authentically you. The real shame might be in withholding that genuine you from the world and keeping it hidden in the smoke and mirrors. Maybe there's a soul out there that desperately needs you to be the real you. You'll never know if you don't leave the mask and spackle home for once.
Cheers to more of the real, nonfiction you!
This world we live in is very good at nurturing facades. The facade of wealth. The facade of power. The facade of success. The facade of perfection. The facade of happiness. The facade of a heroism. The facade of a flawless marriage and perfect kids. And oh so many more facades. It's easy to put on these various pretenses, but when the facade cracks and the real oozes out, what then?
A facade built of smoke and mirrors is exhausting to keep up and will eventually crack. Do you frantically spackle like Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep in Death Becomes Her or finally let your stuffing hang out like The Velveteen Rabbit?
Why are so many of us so afraid of taking off the masks? Of living in the real? Why do we want to hide our true self?
I think the easy answer is to protect ourselves and for the fear being judged (or possibly one's own struggle over jealously, sadness, addiction or mental health can lead to facades as well), but I also think it goes much deeper than that.
For years I've tried so hard to hide my hot messes. As far back as junior high, I had a carefully crafted illusion of self to present to the world, and there have been times in my adult life as well.
Back in those junior high years, I didn't want people to know my real family life. I didn't want them to see the dysfunction. The poor kid. I was afraid of not measuring up to what I had in my head that I must be. I wanted all to see perfection. There also have been times in my adult life that I've faked happiness and perfection, so I appeared all put together for the outside world, because I was so afraid of letting people into the real. Oh, what would they think if they knew the real?!
So the deeper part, peeps, I think is the fear part... all out panic of being judged, of not measuring up. And as I talked in a previous Faith Friday blog - fear is a liar (it always has been) and it's the number one a tool of the evil one. Letting the fear win leads to next stages too, self-loathing and negative self-talk. It's a toxic circle.
Over the years, I've come to realize that I have to find peace within myself to let go of the facade and chase real. And the path to that inner peace begins in His grace and with letting God into the depths of my heart, into the hot messes, into the fear and letting my real ooze out. He knows what's inside the carefully crafted facade even without me saying a word. Somehow being real first with Him gives me the strength to go out into the world real too.
...because once you are real, you can't be ugly, except to people that don't understand. Once you're real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always. - Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
I want it to last for always. I don't want to go back to fake.
We're all beautifully made and there is a gift in being authentically you. The real shame might be in withholding that genuine you from the world and keeping it hidden in the smoke and mirrors. Maybe there's a soul out there that desperately needs you to be the real you. You'll never know if you don't leave the mask and spackle home for once.
Cheers to more of the real, nonfiction you!
-Jen
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