My Dad wasn't the kind of cute Father's Day memes or quaint Norman Rockwell paintings. He wasn't the greatest at all. There were times I hated him and many times I didn't understand him, but sprinkled in all that, there were times he made me smile - truly grin.
To those out there with baggage and scars from those growing up years - I see you. I understand you. Days like today can be hard, if you only focus on the hard, the bad, the sad or what you missed.
Instead, I have something for you to ponder. Find a happy moment, a single moment that makes you smile so very big and let the rest go. You're only hurting yourself by hanging on to all of the negative so tightly. Focus on a single joy. Mine - hot fudge nutty nutty.
In the last few years I've finally come to clearly realize that my Dad wasn’t capable of being the man his wife needed him to be, nor his children. He was broken in so many ways and flawed like ALL of us. He was human. Sometimes I think we forget that about our parents - they're human, just like all of us. Not perfect at all, but we unfairly expect them to be and hold on tightly to every single non perfect thing. We offer them no grace.
I've forgiven my Dad for my baggage and let it all go. It took years to get to that point. In every aspect that he failed (in my opinion) as my Father, there was (and still is) a perfect Father above filling in the gaps.
So I've let the anger go. The sadness. The regret. The disappointment. The longing. I've found grateful, thankful, peace and joy, and I'm better for it.
If not for love within my parent's marriage, then I wouldn’t be here, nor my eight siblings. They gave all of us life. A precious gift not to be overlooked.
My Dad was all he could be for me - for us. It’s all he had to give. Maybe he didn't say he loved us often or that he was proud of us, but maybe he just didn't know how to give us those things we so very craved.
He's been gone quite a few years now, and when he comes to mind - this is the image that I have now. Crazy yellow pants that my Mom kept trying to send to Goodwill, this red tank, thong sandals with black socks and these awful sunglasses that should stayed in the decade they came from. And I hear the words - hot fudge nutty nutty in my head. It's what he called a Dairy Queen Peanut Buster Parfait, and I always thought that to be so silly. He adored enjoying those hot fudge nutty nutty treats, and that's the moment that I choose to keep with me, savor and smile.
Truly, Happy Father's Day, Herm. I know I haven't said it to you in years, but I mean it this year.
To those out there with baggage and scars from those growing up years - I see you. I understand you. Days like today can be hard, if you only focus on the hard, the bad, the sad or what you missed.
Instead, I have something for you to ponder. Find a happy moment, a single moment that makes you smile so very big and let the rest go. You're only hurting yourself by hanging on to all of the negative so tightly. Focus on a single joy. Mine - hot fudge nutty nutty.
In the last few years I've finally come to clearly realize that my Dad wasn’t capable of being the man his wife needed him to be, nor his children. He was broken in so many ways and flawed like ALL of us. He was human. Sometimes I think we forget that about our parents - they're human, just like all of us. Not perfect at all, but we unfairly expect them to be and hold on tightly to every single non perfect thing. We offer them no grace.
I've forgiven my Dad for my baggage and let it all go. It took years to get to that point. In every aspect that he failed (in my opinion) as my Father, there was (and still is) a perfect Father above filling in the gaps.
So I've let the anger go. The sadness. The regret. The disappointment. The longing. I've found grateful, thankful, peace and joy, and I'm better for it.
If not for love within my parent's marriage, then I wouldn’t be here, nor my eight siblings. They gave all of us life. A precious gift not to be overlooked.
My Dad was all he could be for me - for us. It’s all he had to give. Maybe he didn't say he loved us often or that he was proud of us, but maybe he just didn't know how to give us those things we so very craved.
He's been gone quite a few years now, and when he comes to mind - this is the image that I have now. Crazy yellow pants that my Mom kept trying to send to Goodwill, this red tank, thong sandals with black socks and these awful sunglasses that should stayed in the decade they came from. And I hear the words - hot fudge nutty nutty in my head. It's what he called a Dairy Queen Peanut Buster Parfait, and I always thought that to be so silly. He adored enjoying those hot fudge nutty nutty treats, and that's the moment that I choose to keep with me, savor and smile.
Truly, Happy Father's Day, Herm. I know I haven't said it to you in years, but I mean it this year.
- Jen
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