Over the course of my life, I've often had thoughts run through my head that started out, girls like me don't...
Girls like me don't wear sleeveless anything. Girls like me don't become cheerleaders. Girls like me don't bust a move at wedding receptions. Girls like me don't wear red lipstick. Girls like me don't hang out with girls like her. Girls like me don't give presentations up in front of everyone. Girls like me don't become the boss. Girls like me don't dabble in fashion. Girls like me don't do sporty things. Girls like me don't go in front of the camera. Girls like me don't karaoke. Girls like me don't succeed at diets. Girls like me don't have their dreams come true. And so on and so on.
There have been times when I've overcome some of those don'ts, but for most of my life I've often let fear win. I've believed the lies of the don'ts. I have a feeling it's happened to you a time or two too.
Why do we do it? I'll get to my thought on that in a minute, but first I'll tell you the biggest don't that has ever stuck in my head, and it was there for SIX years!
I once had an authority figure tell me that girls like me don't go into careers in marketing. Marketing careers are for the glamorous. That played in my head for years. I almost believed it. Almost. I wish I could tell you the moment I knew in my heart that was a load of crap, but I can't.
I'm pretty sure it was just a fire inside me for storytelling that kept growing and amazing people that crossed my path that encouraged me and helped me see it WAS possible. Plus nudges from the Holy Spirit and a bit of God's grace mixed in too. It doesn't really matter the path or timeline, just that I made it here. I'm grateful each day, as I work from home doing what I love, that I didn't believe that one don't, but knowing that, why do I still let the don'ts win sometimes?
Because negative self-talk is oh so real, peeps, and as a longtime people pleaser, I often put myself last. We are so hard on ourselves, and the conversations we have in our heads, we'd never have with another soul. We always have the best advice for our friends, but when it comes to our own fears and the don'ts we let ourselves believe, we kind of suck. Our society praises perfect, whatever the current version of that is. There is constant noise all around us showing us and telling us who we should be, how we should look, what we should like, what we should say, who we should surround ourselves with...and oh so much more.
We doubt ourselves. We fear being judged. We let ourselves be intimidated. We let ourselves feel less than. And...the don'ts seep in one by one.
Today I was in the car coming home from a client video shoot with my 8 year-old mini-me along for the ride. I happened to be on the phone chatting fashion with a dear industry friend. We are taking about how in awe we are of fashion bloggers, but how that's not necessarily our comfort zone. I went on to tell my friend that she's adorable, brave and trendy in her fashion choices. And she rocks skirts! I talked about how I struggle sometimes with plus size fashion and just wearing black (my go-to color) all the time. I told her we should throw caution to the wind, take risks and to embrace ourselves as we are. As I finished the conversation, my daughter piped in, "You should listen to yourself, Mommy."
How did she get so wise? Touche, dear girl. Mama's listening.
I recently read this on a friend's Instagram post along with a beautiful brave selfie of herself. It spoke volumes to my soul: "I've done a lot of thinking lately. Mostly about how long I've hated my body and my face. How I've always talked so down to myself and compared myself to the beauty of the rest of the world. It's taken me years to realize that different doesn't equal ugly. Beauty isn't defined by one thing. It's defined by a vast amount of components. I think it's time to see my beauty just as I am."
Oh, dear girl, yes it is, because I happen to think you are a gorgeous soul with the most genuine megawatt beautiful smile I've ever seen. No one would have ever known the don'ts in your head, because you exude joy, but look what the don'ts have been doing to you all these years? Isn't it interesting the person we show the world vs the person we see in ourselves?
Yep, comparison is the thief of joy, and I'm pretty sure it fuels all those don'ts, peeps.
Stopping the comparison game is hard, yes, but if we manage to tackle it and get rid of all those don'ts, then we're free to go ahead and just be whoever we were designed to be and rock the desires of our hearts.
I started a pretty kick-ass book this summer. Okay, yes, I'm a girl that curses once in awhile, but really there wasn't a more fitting way to say this book is freaking awesome! It's my summer pool read, and yes, that means I'm throwing caution to the wind and donning swimwear (and it's not black)... And I'm totally getting what the book the title shouts - Girl, wash your face...
Are you tired of the don'ts, the fears and the lies you tell yourself too? Do you have a sweet daughter full of her own amazingness, who you want to not believe the don'ts either? Maybe Rachel Hollis' Girl Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be should be your summer read too. It's full of things to ponder.
Cheers to kicking the don'ts to the curb, peeps. And yes, in this picture, I'm sleeveless. Yay, me! See ya later, don't 1,364.
Girls like me don't wear sleeveless anything. Girls like me don't become cheerleaders. Girls like me don't bust a move at wedding receptions. Girls like me don't wear red lipstick. Girls like me don't hang out with girls like her. Girls like me don't give presentations up in front of everyone. Girls like me don't become the boss. Girls like me don't dabble in fashion. Girls like me don't do sporty things. Girls like me don't go in front of the camera. Girls like me don't karaoke. Girls like me don't succeed at diets. Girls like me don't have their dreams come true. And so on and so on.
There have been times when I've overcome some of those don'ts, but for most of my life I've often let fear win. I've believed the lies of the don'ts. I have a feeling it's happened to you a time or two too.
Why do we do it? I'll get to my thought on that in a minute, but first I'll tell you the biggest don't that has ever stuck in my head, and it was there for SIX years!
I once had an authority figure tell me that girls like me don't go into careers in marketing. Marketing careers are for the glamorous. That played in my head for years. I almost believed it. Almost. I wish I could tell you the moment I knew in my heart that was a load of crap, but I can't.
I'm pretty sure it was just a fire inside me for storytelling that kept growing and amazing people that crossed my path that encouraged me and helped me see it WAS possible. Plus nudges from the Holy Spirit and a bit of God's grace mixed in too. It doesn't really matter the path or timeline, just that I made it here. I'm grateful each day, as I work from home doing what I love, that I didn't believe that one don't, but knowing that, why do I still let the don'ts win sometimes?
Because negative self-talk is oh so real, peeps, and as a longtime people pleaser, I often put myself last. We are so hard on ourselves, and the conversations we have in our heads, we'd never have with another soul. We always have the best advice for our friends, but when it comes to our own fears and the don'ts we let ourselves believe, we kind of suck. Our society praises perfect, whatever the current version of that is. There is constant noise all around us showing us and telling us who we should be, how we should look, what we should like, what we should say, who we should surround ourselves with...and oh so much more.
We doubt ourselves. We fear being judged. We let ourselves be intimidated. We let ourselves feel less than. And...the don'ts seep in one by one.
Today I was in the car coming home from a client video shoot with my 8 year-old mini-me along for the ride. I happened to be on the phone chatting fashion with a dear industry friend. We are taking about how in awe we are of fashion bloggers, but how that's not necessarily our comfort zone. I went on to tell my friend that she's adorable, brave and trendy in her fashion choices. And she rocks skirts! I talked about how I struggle sometimes with plus size fashion and just wearing black (my go-to color) all the time. I told her we should throw caution to the wind, take risks and to embrace ourselves as we are. As I finished the conversation, my daughter piped in, "You should listen to yourself, Mommy."
How did she get so wise? Touche, dear girl. Mama's listening.
I recently read this on a friend's Instagram post along with a beautiful brave selfie of herself. It spoke volumes to my soul: "I've done a lot of thinking lately. Mostly about how long I've hated my body and my face. How I've always talked so down to myself and compared myself to the beauty of the rest of the world. It's taken me years to realize that different doesn't equal ugly. Beauty isn't defined by one thing. It's defined by a vast amount of components. I think it's time to see my beauty just as I am."
Oh, dear girl, yes it is, because I happen to think you are a gorgeous soul with the most genuine megawatt beautiful smile I've ever seen. No one would have ever known the don'ts in your head, because you exude joy, but look what the don'ts have been doing to you all these years? Isn't it interesting the person we show the world vs the person we see in ourselves?
Yep, comparison is the thief of joy, and I'm pretty sure it fuels all those don'ts, peeps.
Stopping the comparison game is hard, yes, but if we manage to tackle it and get rid of all those don'ts, then we're free to go ahead and just be whoever we were designed to be and rock the desires of our hearts.
I started a pretty kick-ass book this summer. Okay, yes, I'm a girl that curses once in awhile, but really there wasn't a more fitting way to say this book is freaking awesome! It's my summer pool read, and yes, that means I'm throwing caution to the wind and donning swimwear (and it's not black)... And I'm totally getting what the book the title shouts - Girl, wash your face...
Are you tired of the don'ts, the fears and the lies you tell yourself too? Do you have a sweet daughter full of her own amazingness, who you want to not believe the don'ts either? Maybe Rachel Hollis' Girl Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be should be your summer read too. It's full of things to ponder.
Cheers to kicking the don'ts to the curb, peeps. And yes, in this picture, I'm sleeveless. Yay, me! See ya later, don't 1,364.
-Jen
I just finished that book two weeks ago and LOVED it! I appreciated your honesty. I struggle often with my inner voice preventing me from fully enjoying the moment, but am learning to find the positive cheerleader.
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