Long ago I used to tip toe around the hard things in fear, collapse in a puddle of tears or hide in the comfort of my bed. I am the baby of nine children. Growing up the spoiled brat I was often was, I hated the hard things. I wanted them to disappear and someone else take care of them for me. I let the hard things take me under every single time. Somewhere over the years I figured out that it didn't have to be that way and EVERYONE has hard things. Go figure?
So this past Wednesday was a day full of hard things. I must have needed some fresh, hot off the press, content for this blog, eh? I woke up with a migraine and was scheduled to be a panelist at a mentoring SCORE workshop on marketing. I coffee-ed up (which is a way better saying than cowboy up, by the way peeps), found the Excedrin extra strength and off I went into the crazy January rain. As I drove to the workshop my passenger side windshield wiper flew off. Good grief - at least not my driver side one. Made it through the seminar. Headed home to find piles (yes multiple) of lovely dog vomit here and there. Cleaned up. Migraine was making a return appearance. Yay. Got one kid off the bus. Dog was still behaving strangely. House was a mess, no time for that. Tried to catch up on work and other kid called saying he needed to leave wrestling practice because he has a skin disease. Oh joy. Yep, the dreaded wrestler's impetigo. I have no idea what I made for dinner. Come to think of it, I think Coach Man to the rescue with pizza that evening. So around 8 p.m. the vomiting oddly behaving dog had something that appeared to be a seizure. Peeps, this 3 year old boxer beagle is pretty much my third kid. Yes, I baby talk him. Off to the 24hr emergency vet. Three hours, tests, a prayed rosary and a lot of dollars later, they aren't sure what's up. Great. Fluids for him and home. Tried to work again. Power goes out. Tree limb down on a line. Really? And very little sleep that night with sick restless dog.
From time to time we all have these terrible days, where nothing goes right. Days full of hard things. Sometimes small bothersome hard things and sometimes whoppers of hard things. We tell ourselves that there are worse off people in the world and buck up buttercup. Yes, there are so many dealing with super hard things like a chronic disease or a health issue, the grief of losing a loved one, the sudden loss of a job, car accidents, house fires, depression, financial hardship, addiction, abuse, food security, safety and the list goes on.
The point is we ALL navigate difficult times at some point and no matter the level of your hard thing, it's still a hard thing for you. So how did this spoiled brat, baby of a large family, come to figure out how to deal with hard things? Trial by fire. God did some major refining over the years. I didn't see it as that when it was happening, but looking back it was exactly that. In the midst of the suffering - in the hard things of infertility, miscarriages, a marriage separation, a sibling that went to prison, the death of both my parents far before I was ready (are we ever really ready), financial hardships, a child with sensory processing disorder, another with a metabolic disorder and a spouse with type 1 diabetes (and currently in America that one is the one that makes me want to hit my head against the wall often - peeps there's got to be a better way) and a very sad hysterectomy in my thirties - I learned how to bloom even in the hard of life.
Somewhere along the way, I figured out that by truly standing still in the middle of whatever the hard thing was and taking it all in, somehow the hard thing lost its power. Moreover, I often learned powerful lessons by slowing down and savoring the moments, even the hard ones.
A few years ago my BFF was going into surgery with her third little guy (out of five super cute hooligans). He was born with cleft palate and there were several surgeries and lots of therapy over the years. She was full of worry that surgery day and mentioned that she would just like it all to be over with asap. I said, "Never fast forward. Savor each moment. There are blessings even in the most difficult moments." In that moment, it must have been the Holy Spirit speaking through me, because it just popped out. I wasn't going for deep thoughts. I just wanted to comfort her, and I leaned on my own experience. She's kept that simple thought that I shared long ago in her heart and often shares it on social when the hard things seep into life. It makes me smile, and it makes me laugh. My own quote meme graphic.
So that's it, my best tip for overcoming hard things. Don't wish them away. When they arrive, because for most of us, they always will, stand still in them and look for the hidden blessings.
Oh and if I had to give you tip two and three? Prayer and self care. Just like in last week's Hushing the Rhythm of Rush, I've found prayer quiets and focuses me, and it's a beautiful place to bear the hard things because you aren't bearing them alone. You're bearing them with the best bestie you could ever have.
Moreover, bearing the hard things takes strength. If you aren't taking care of you, then it's hard to take care of anyone else in your life. What self care looks like is different for all of us. For me, self care equals a few simple things that I CANNOT neglect no matter how busy our family life is - time for prayer, getting sleep, a shower, picking up the house (I can't focus in a super messy house), a good book to get lost in when I need it, a journal to write in, being well-stocked on coffee pods, not letting my hair go too long between appointments and the occasional pedicure. Yours might be knitting and an occasional glass of wine, like my friend Kara. Being out in nature like my friend Megan. Or painting like my friend Ashley. Or sewing and photography like my friend Beth. You get it - whatever makes your soul sing, nurture that. It makes your soul sing for a reason.
Cheers to life's hard things!
So this past Wednesday was a day full of hard things. I must have needed some fresh, hot off the press, content for this blog, eh? I woke up with a migraine and was scheduled to be a panelist at a mentoring SCORE workshop on marketing. I coffee-ed up (which is a way better saying than cowboy up, by the way peeps), found the Excedrin extra strength and off I went into the crazy January rain. As I drove to the workshop my passenger side windshield wiper flew off. Good grief - at least not my driver side one. Made it through the seminar. Headed home to find piles (yes multiple) of lovely dog vomit here and there. Cleaned up. Migraine was making a return appearance. Yay. Got one kid off the bus. Dog was still behaving strangely. House was a mess, no time for that. Tried to catch up on work and other kid called saying he needed to leave wrestling practice because he has a skin disease. Oh joy. Yep, the dreaded wrestler's impetigo. I have no idea what I made for dinner. Come to think of it, I think Coach Man to the rescue with pizza that evening. So around 8 p.m. the vomiting oddly behaving dog had something that appeared to be a seizure. Peeps, this 3 year old boxer beagle is pretty much my third kid. Yes, I baby talk him. Off to the 24hr emergency vet. Three hours, tests, a prayed rosary and a lot of dollars later, they aren't sure what's up. Great. Fluids for him and home. Tried to work again. Power goes out. Tree limb down on a line. Really? And very little sleep that night with sick restless dog.
From time to time we all have these terrible days, where nothing goes right. Days full of hard things. Sometimes small bothersome hard things and sometimes whoppers of hard things. We tell ourselves that there are worse off people in the world and buck up buttercup. Yes, there are so many dealing with super hard things like a chronic disease or a health issue, the grief of losing a loved one, the sudden loss of a job, car accidents, house fires, depression, financial hardship, addiction, abuse, food security, safety and the list goes on.
The point is we ALL navigate difficult times at some point and no matter the level of your hard thing, it's still a hard thing for you. So how did this spoiled brat, baby of a large family, come to figure out how to deal with hard things? Trial by fire. God did some major refining over the years. I didn't see it as that when it was happening, but looking back it was exactly that. In the midst of the suffering - in the hard things of infertility, miscarriages, a marriage separation, a sibling that went to prison, the death of both my parents far before I was ready (are we ever really ready), financial hardships, a child with sensory processing disorder, another with a metabolic disorder and a spouse with type 1 diabetes (and currently in America that one is the one that makes me want to hit my head against the wall often - peeps there's got to be a better way) and a very sad hysterectomy in my thirties - I learned how to bloom even in the hard of life.
Somewhere along the way, I figured out that by truly standing still in the middle of whatever the hard thing was and taking it all in, somehow the hard thing lost its power. Moreover, I often learned powerful lessons by slowing down and savoring the moments, even the hard ones.
A few years ago my BFF was going into surgery with her third little guy (out of five super cute hooligans). He was born with cleft palate and there were several surgeries and lots of therapy over the years. She was full of worry that surgery day and mentioned that she would just like it all to be over with asap. I said, "Never fast forward. Savor each moment. There are blessings even in the most difficult moments." In that moment, it must have been the Holy Spirit speaking through me, because it just popped out. I wasn't going for deep thoughts. I just wanted to comfort her, and I leaned on my own experience. She's kept that simple thought that I shared long ago in her heart and often shares it on social when the hard things seep into life. It makes me smile, and it makes me laugh. My own quote meme graphic.
So that's it, my best tip for overcoming hard things. Don't wish them away. When they arrive, because for most of us, they always will, stand still in them and look for the hidden blessings.
Oh and if I had to give you tip two and three? Prayer and self care. Just like in last week's Hushing the Rhythm of Rush, I've found prayer quiets and focuses me, and it's a beautiful place to bear the hard things because you aren't bearing them alone. You're bearing them with the best bestie you could ever have.
Moreover, bearing the hard things takes strength. If you aren't taking care of you, then it's hard to take care of anyone else in your life. What self care looks like is different for all of us. For me, self care equals a few simple things that I CANNOT neglect no matter how busy our family life is - time for prayer, getting sleep, a shower, picking up the house (I can't focus in a super messy house), a good book to get lost in when I need it, a journal to write in, being well-stocked on coffee pods, not letting my hair go too long between appointments and the occasional pedicure. Yours might be knitting and an occasional glass of wine, like my friend Kara. Being out in nature like my friend Megan. Or painting like my friend Ashley. Or sewing and photography like my friend Beth. You get it - whatever makes your soul sing, nurture that. It makes your soul sing for a reason.
Cheers to life's hard things!
- Jen
Beautiful Jen. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post Jen. Truly enjoyed it. Love you!
ReplyDelete