DelightStruck

My nephew texted earlier this week and asked if he could interview me for a homework project. Little did I know the question coming wasn't an easy one, and it would bring tears and hard memories. He said he was supposed to ask someone over 30 and not his parents about the biggest challenge in their life. I advised I'd need a bit to think on that. It didn't take long. I was able to pinpoint it easily. Infertility. Growing up I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I never knew it wouldn't come easy. Coach Man and I struggled for five years to have a child. During our struggle, I often couldn't understand why God was withholding my heart's desires and how other women, made a choice, and just threw away the gift of motherhood like no biggie. What I would have given for that child that they didn't want. Hey, girl, over here! Give it to me. I'll love the heck out of that baby! Really, I will. During those years, all I could see around me was pregnan...

I can't. You can. I'm going to let you. This has been my daily prayer over the past year. I was exhausted from trying to always be in control, to be what or who I felt everyone wanted me to be, to "fix" everything for everyone around me and always feeling like I was fighting an uphill battle. And that hill was pretty much a series of overgrown mountains, and I was wearing flip flops. I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. I've got flaws. Did you gasp? Ha! I can see my sister nodding her head right now - saying oh yes she does! Yep, I've got them, just like all of us. It's called being human. I'm just finally willing to talk about them. I'm a recovering people-pleasing perfectionist. A perfectionist that couldn't perfect herself no matter how hard she tried over the years. I struggle with negative self-talk. I hate to feel like I've failed at anything. I beat myself up over it. Over the course of my life, I've let f...